shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
