I am puke
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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