Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm experimenting with sincerity
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
