At least make sure they are 18
Why
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
