I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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