I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
