Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
