i barfeds in our rink
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Say something about gay babies.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
