Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize