They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
