the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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