3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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