I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
