try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize