you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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