I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
