Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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