Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
