Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize
