My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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