She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
