At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
