at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
