He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
