its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
