I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
