my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
