Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
