Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
