You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
