Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
