I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
