this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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