This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
this hospital has no fireball
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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