Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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