I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
