Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
You are the jesus of drinking
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
