I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
