Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
