The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
