his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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