is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
