Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
