ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
