I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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