If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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