Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
