are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize