well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
It's not a walk of shame if you run
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
