whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
This house was built for laser tag.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
