I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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