So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
