does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
there is glitter all over my balls
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
