I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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