K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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