I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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