the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
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