This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize