So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
