yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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