been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
