the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
