After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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