Your tits are I can't wait for
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
