i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
