why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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