ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
