So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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