That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Randomize
