I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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