he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
