i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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