Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
