im six kinds of drunk right now
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
this just has baby written all over it
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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