I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
