Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
