Define "chronic" masturbator.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
