We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
