Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
