We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize