I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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